2002-10-07 - 3:27 a.m.

What am I doing?

Ok, So I really haven't got anything to say. I had two days off from work and they can be described in one sound. This sound is about all you would have heard coming from me for those 48 hrs. That sound, I know you've already guessed it too, is "ZZZZZZZZZZZZ".

Yes, I slept my way through my two days off and I did absolutely nothing. If it wasn't for the fine invention of pizza delivery, I might have actually had to go OUTSIDE. Actually, I did make a trip to 7/11 at about 8am this morning to buy Ice Tea and a couple Gatorade (Hey the Gatorade was 2@$3.00, how I could I turn THAT down! I ask you really!).

If you haven't noticed I added a notify list to this diary for you non-diaryland folks that stop by so you know when I've updated since I am not exactly a day to day person and can get down right sporatitic. So if you'd like to join that please feel free.

I read two rather awesome entries from my favourites list todayStrangerlucy & Sixweasels. They both struck chords for me. Stangerlucy's entry because it is amazing what objects in your life can hold so much meaning but to others would just seem like yet another mundane item. Sixweasels entry because I, myself, am a lazy friend as I've documented right here in this journal. I guess it's nice to know others face the same things I do. I'm not alone. I'm not ALLLLLLOOOOOOOOONE!

Last entry was the Love Test. I sent the link and my results in an email to Veronica. She sent me back her results but she really didn't talk about it. Which was strange cause we usually talk about weird these results are. Love between Veronica and I is such a bittersweet topic. There's still playfulness there. There's still attraction. There's still the past. It's frustrating.

She's been chatting with a guy from Alberta. He's coming out to see her, tentatively in the next few days. He was supposed to come out in July. I am rather uneasy about this. I am not sure it's jealousy as much as reliving a past nightmare. You see, Lisa my ex-wife (common law) was chatting with a guy from Alberta when her and I were going through the motions at the end of our relationship. She ended up meeting that guy and having a kid with the guy. I don't know if they are together still or not cause, well, we don't talk. But it's a memory in the back of my head. History repeats itself you know. Am I afraid of losing something forever that I've already lost through my own stupid actions? Does THAT make any sense. I don't think it does to any sane person. Anyway, Veronica and I had a fairly nice chat today on the phone. I've been trying to track her down the last few days because I have to return a CD of hers. We talked about playing crib online later in the evening. But that didn't materialize and she ended up talking to her Alberta guy and I bowed out gracefully stating I had a lovely chat with her eariler and that I didn't need to monoplize her time.

I just don't know. I just don't know.

What am I doing?

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The Last Five Bingo Games

Ripples - 2011-02-01
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I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
I'd Like To Point Something Out - 2010-09-10
A Tempting Morsal - 2010-08-20

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