2002-07-12 - 3:50 p.m.

Chips of Inspiration

Darlene.

I can't explain what this woman does to me. I lose my breath. I can't think straight. It hurts inside. I don't know what I am doing. Not that I ever know what I am doing but even more so when she is on my mind or with me.

I talked to her today via Instant Message. She was telling me about the fact she had a date with guy the other night. They were meeting for the first time after talking online. He didn't show up and she went home. They talked today and I guess he hit a cat on the way to the date. I would assume that the cat must have lived at least after he hit the cat because if it were dead one would just carry on wouldn't they?

I dunno and I love animals. I would have been devasted myself. Anyway, they have planned a second date for tonight. I was speechless because she hasn't really mentioned another guy for awhile other than the main one she'd been trying to sort out. (Which she gave his walking papers to.) So I was like "Ah. Excellent." I really didn't know what to say. Which basically stopped our IM conversation. I think she might have been disappointed in my slightly jealous reaction.

So, I went and laid down on the couch and had tiny self-pity party. At least I think it was one. It was all running through my mind so fast. I just wanted to do something to let her know that I like her. So I thought, I should buy her some flowers again. So I am laying on the couch thinking about that when I glance over at the empty bag of chips I scored from the other night at my friends house. I lost in thought but I sorta started to read the back of the bag of chips. Two words were staring back at me. "Hurry Up". I stopped thinking for a moment and took in those two words. Realize of what I could read of the sentence on the bag was "Now hurry up before someone else..."

Now timing is everything isn't it, boys and girls? But if there were words of wisdom I needed at the exact instant. Those were definitely some of the most inspiring words. So I got off the couch. Jumped into the shower. Drove to the grocery store (it's the nearest place I know that sells flowers, one of these days I'll have to find an actual florist around these parts.) bought a nice bouquet of flowers. (They were called a "Smile" Bouquet, whatever that means.) I am still very careful not to buy roses. I think roses are deadly presumptious. All I was going for here was "Don't forget about me." and I drove off to her place. She had clients in her shop so I just dropped off the flowers to her.

The conversation went something like this.

Bingoguy arrives with two clients in her shop.

Client : "She just went to the bathroom. She'll be back"

Bingoguy : "Oh ok. Yes, she'll be back."

Darlene arrives.

BG : "These are for you, I thought you'd like them."

Darlene : "Aww, Thanx, Bingoguy. What are these for?!"

BG : "I don't know. Just being a goof."

We Hug.

BG : "I knew you'd probably be busy so I am just dropping them off. Good luck tonight I hope everything works out."

Darlene : "Thanx Bingoguy"

BG : "Seeya later, Darlene."

There ya have it. What the hell am I doing? I dunno.

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