2002-10-09 - 6:40 a.m.

Slower Traffic Keep Right

Today, I thought I'd write about driving habits.

I am not sure if I've ever mentioned this before BUT I live 20 minutes drive from my place of employment. This translates into the fact that I do 40 minutes of driving each day to work. This would because in this city I've decided to live in the nicer neighbourhood which happens to be on the complete other side of town. This also means I'm subject to numerous amounts of the world crappiest drivers known to man. They all seem to know when it is I drive to and from work and leap in their cars just to piss me off, freak me out, and general shock the SHIT right out of me.

Let's look at the typical Bingoguy commute.

When I take off from my place of resident the first thing of traffic I encounter is a 4 way stop. I am not sure why but the people in my neighbourhood have no concept on how these work. I will drive up at the exact same time as people and they'll be on my right and I'll sit there waiting and looking at them. Waiting for them to go. Because folks, that's the rules of a 4 way stop. I see at least one stupid move at this 4 way stop a day.

I then travel down a two lane road (that's one lane in the direction I'm travelling for those that are wiser and ride the bus.) It NEVER fails that I somehow time it that I am following one of the various SENIOR CITIZEN's in my neighbourhood. They're so old that they feel the entire roadway is a school zone because everyone looks like kids to them even other old people. Thus I travel behind them doing 30 km/h on what should be a 50 km/h road. The next part of this road is a rather steep incline. I can tell each and every person that drives an automatic when I drive up this hill because they crawl up this hill like their car is on it's last legs. I'm constantly saying "OH COME ON! I drive a standard here, you're killing me. I'm in FIRST GEAR!". Yes, indeed, FIRST gear. near the top of this hill my side of the road actually splits into two lanes. 98% of the time the person that I am just about driving over top of stay in the left hand lane. Uhm, Hello, Rearview MIRROR?

Anyway, After that I get the joys of driving on a highway which in fact goes THROUGH the city. Lots of lights and more stupid drivers. As I just mentioned above the driver's that take the left lane and still drive slow. I wish they'd write tickets for this like they do in Washington State. I don't understand. They left lane of a road is often refered to as the "Passing" lane. I'm not sure the majority of driver's understand this concept. I'm consistantly accosted by driver's who think driving in the left hand lane is a joyous sunday drive. If you want to drive in the left hand lane. Please, Please! MOVE YOUR ASS! or kindly move over to the right hand lane and you can go just about any speed and I won't care. I just beg people don't clog up the left hand lane. It is NOT your God given right to conjest traffic OR keep us all doing the speed limit. Let me introduce you to a rule of the road, "Slower Traffic Keep Right". This is a catch all, people. It doesn't say "Slower Traffic Keep Right unless you're doing the speed limit or are completely retarded." It's exactly what it says. When you are driving in the left hand lane and someone comes up on your ass this would be your cue to change lanes to the right and let the person behind you because you've currently been put in the "Slower Traffic" catagory. It's nothing personal and you can change back to the left lane (god forbid) after you've let us go by.

I come along a right turn off which I swear people still hit their brakes as they do this when the through light is GREEN and has been for awhile. Who EXACTLY do you think you're gonna be merging with when no one can come through the opposite direction. I am don't mean drive it without looking but come on. Coming to a complete stop to in a right turn off lane is just annoying. Speaking of Green Lights and Completely Annoying. What is it with people who BRAKE before going through a Green light. Did they change the rules on a Green light so it means slow down until you see the yellow light and then speed through leaving all the people following you having to stop? That one just baffles me and I'm convinced they teach this at Dumb Drivers of Canada (actually known as Young Drivers of Canada but I think the name I use is more appopriate).

I'm then just a few stop lights from hitting work. There's one tiny but still low visibility hills just before my works parking lot and I have no idea why people drive right down the MIDDLE of this road on either side of this hill. I'm waiting for a head on collision to happen here one day.

I could go on and on about various situations where people just don't think when they are driving. If more people used Road Courtesy and understood the rules of the road. There'd be far less problems. I'm sure of it.

One of the things I do when I am driving is be aware of the person in front of me BUT I'm also looking down the road quite a few cars and watching what traffic is doing in front of me. This is how I see bad things coming before I even get there. While I drive I play a little game with myself called "Guess what the IDIOT's gonna do." I watch the traffic in front of me and I call people changing lanes, proceeding onto a highway when they really don't have the room to and various other really bad ideas when driving, like changing over two lanes at once.

At this point I would like to knock on my head and say I have only been in two accidents in my entire life. One I was a passenger on a motorcycle. The other I was backed into by a truck while I was at a standstill in a parking lot because he was driving ahead of me and I couldn't go anywhere else. He then backed up over 2 car lengths to slam into the front of my car. I saw it coming to but couldn't get out of the way because my only option was backing up blindly just like this bozo was doing to me. Always be in the sue postion never the getting sued position.

Anyway, I really wanted to be more humorous about this but I guess it just ended up being a rant. Oh well, you get what you get here. I'm no Weetabix or Uncle Bob or whoever you think is ghost writing for him these days.

Have a nice day and get the hell out of my way.

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