2003-04-23 - 5:26 a.m.

Privacy

Hmm, I never did that much with my day today. Someone may have noticed that I fiddled with my site again. I was fiddling most of the day but I was fooling around with my personal site that's known to the rest of the world where I actually admit who I am.

Funny, that I'd do that. Perhaps I'm bi-polar after all, or perhaps schizophrenic. Not that I really advertise it.

It's quite the dilemma one gets in when they REALLY like their privacy yet continue to do things that drag them into the limelight. I would really make a poor famous person or celebrity. I enjoy doing things that other people see but after everything is said and done I like to return to my nothingness/unknown status.

Is this a sign of my own selfishness again?

I know, I'm being selfish with Samantha. But really, I don't know what to do. I, honestly, believe the thing that makes a relationship work is each person having their own lives/interests. Things that take you apart from one another so that you can enjoy being reunited again. I really don't feel I get any personal downtime from her. I've never been the type to want to be with someone 24/7.

I can only look at what I've had in the past. When I was with Lisa, we had our seperate interests not to mention jobs that we're sometimes completely opposite one another. Is that why it lasted 5 years?

The thing I see is Samantha needs a job. She needs contact with adults other than me. It's just healthy I think. She also needs to stop trying to think up ways to contact me. If I am not coming over or spending time with her she'll find some reason to phone me and tell me some non-important fact that required her to call me "that VERY Second".

It all rolls back to my privacy. I want the girl but I want my privacy. Am I asking to much?!

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The Last Five Bingo Games

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I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
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