2002-04-23 - 11:59 p.m.

Explanation

I guess I have to start off by explaining why I deleted the entry previous to this one. Well, it's because it most was just me saying the F word a million times and a few other choice swear words about my work.

Suffice to say I got a memo at work the other day that just annoyed me. The problem is my current state of mental well being. Obviously, if you've been following my ramblings, I've been pretty depressed latey and I am really in a weakened state where minor stressful things set me off.

Tonight at the end of my work shift. I was just completely lost. I think one of my co-workers noticed. I just couldn't make the decision to go home. I was just standing there lost. My mind just exhausted. It doesn't help that 8 hours of calling bingo is mentally exhausting when one is already struggling mentally. I am still here again with the whole crying eyes feeling. I think it may partially be hayfever but along with the general body numbness I am feeling there's more to it. Thus, I really need to make sure I get my ass out of bed tomorrow and phone the doctors and make an appointment. It's exteremly tough for me to admit that I'm in need of some help but I also realize I'm having a hard time mustering whatever it is to keep going and faking happiness to everyone. Day by Day I'm slowly losing my grip on it. I need to seek some advice before I lose my entire grip.

So, yes, I guess I am admitting I'm not right in the head. Woohoo! Bingo"Crazy"Guy. A Whole new nickname.

Anyway, That's where I am at. As I said quite awhile ago. It's all part of the process.

Stay Tuned...

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The Last Five Bingo Games

Ripples - 2011-02-01
Checkmate - 2010-11-11
I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
I'd Like To Point Something Out - 2010-09-10
A Tempting Morsal - 2010-08-20

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