2002-09-10 - 5:13 a.m.

If Uncle Bob won't take my Advice Maybe You Should?

I originally posted the following in Uncle Bob's Notes. He had mentioned in one of his diary entries that he was off to New Orlean's or some such place to interview a person from a Casino. While he was there he said he had X amount of dollars to gamble away so I gave some sage advice. Since UB never bothered to acknowledge the advice I decided I shouldn't let it go to waste and thought I'd post it here.

Being as I am the unofficial gambling expert, Uncle Bob. I thought I'd give you a few hints on what not to do in a casino. Rule #1. Don't play Slots. They'll tell you that the Slots are set to pay off at some insane percentage. Amercian Casinos this percentage is usually in the mid to high 90's. But the catch is that percentage is based on payoffs on all the machines. This includes the one coin (or equal wager) payoff. There's a WHOLE lot of those that make up the 90 something percent. Your better off to sit down with a Vegas/Casino type program and learn to play Blackjack. If you play following the basic suggested plays you at least have a near 50% chance of actually winning. My Personal favourite is a game called Pai Gow Poker. But one has to understand basic poker hands. It's a push game because it's 7 card two hand poker. You're 5 card hand is your best hand and your two card hand is your second best hand. You have to beat the dealer with both hands to win money but the dealer has to beat both your hands for you to lose money. So you can spend a long time on a table without actually winning or losing money. Although I don't recommend the game since you only plan on gambling $100. I usually buy in on these types of tables with a minimum $100. Happy Gambling. (Don't forget to find out if the Casino offers a Players Points Card.)

More Advice from the Unofficial Gambling Expert on Diaryland. Here's a way to enjoy gambling without actually losing any money. Most Casino's want you to gamble, gamble, drink, gamble, drink, gamble, gamble...err you get the idea. But what if you're oblivious to various ways in which to gamble your money away and make some Sheik in a far off country richer than you even more times over? Well, Don't fret. Most, if not all, Casinos offer FREE courses in the various table games. They have various times during the day that they teach people how to play the various games of chance. They even usually let you play the games with play money for awhile so you can get the idea what it feels like to gamble at that game before they let you go forth and actually put your hard earned dollars on the table and have them scoop them away with a "Better luck next time, Chump" gleem in their eye. Attend as many of those as you can and your $100's has gone a long way in your own pocket. Have fun.

These two paragraphs were posted in two seperate notes so that's why it might not have any continuity to it.

I'm sure I have even more opinions about gambling in general. Speaking of never playing slots. I went to the Casino after work this evening and dropped $60 bux. I decided to take my other $40 of the Hundred I usually bring and went to play slots cause the casino was rather slow. I won $160 in about 5 minutes playing Slots. So I had all my money back plus $60. I put the $40 slowly back in the slots and left up a grand total of $20 over my own money. So not too bad. I should have left as soon as I hit big on the slots. I could have left with $199. But I didn't feel like going home yet and it was just about closing time at the casino. I actually was still playing a slot machine when it spit all my money out at me indicating the end of the night.

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