2001-12-20 - 1:01 a.m.

Well, I haven't put an entry in for 9 days. Wow, I just seem to break the record every couple of entries.

Well, it's just typical of me. I'm a terrible procrastinator. I put things off for various reasons. Things were going so well with this journal and I was feeling a sense of accomplishment in just putting in fairly regular updates. Then I start letting them slide. Doing other things instead of something that really was helping me in general.

Then I wanted to make an entry. I wanted to entitle this entry "failure".

I was sitting at work. I really had a feeling I was ready for that entry. That I could write it. It would be very deep and extermely meaningful (to me). Then I came home from work and I beleive the first night I was way over tired or something. Then it just never seem to fit with my schedule.

In my defense, I do get very busy in the month of December. Doing the DJ thing along side a full time job. Is almost like having two full time jobs. I am looking forward to January already when my schedule will be at ease and I will basically just be doing bingo.

I am also planning on making an appointment to go see my family doctor. I want to sit down with him and discuss the stress level in my life now and in the past. I really think I may have suffered two nervous breakdowns in the past. One in my teenage years and one in mid 20's. I think that those two incidents have direct baring to my rather lower level of stress tolerance. I used to be able to take huge amounts of stress (I know that's not exactly something to brag about) and now I can't take very much before I feel my body want to shut down.

I think going to the doc is a good thing. I'm a good person inside and that good person deserves a chance to be seen. Not that I'm an awful person now, just I could be so much more.

Stay tuned eh?

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The Last Five Bingo Games

Ripples - 2011-02-01
Checkmate - 2010-11-11
I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
I'd Like To Point Something Out - 2010-09-10
A Tempting Morsal - 2010-08-20

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