2004-06-15 - 1:03 a.m.

Fire Alarms

I remember way back in elementary school I used to think fire drills were pretty nifty.

The alarm would go off. We'd have to stop what we were doing. You'd line up in single file. I think we did it according to where you sat or some such nonsense and then we march out of the classroom, down the hall, out the door and then to the designated meeting spot which I'm sure none of knew where it was but we just followed the damn teacher.

I remember enjoying it mostly because it was like an unscheduled recess. Woo! stop doing school stuff and go outside. I don't think I ever remember a fire drill being done on a pissing down rain day. Then Again, You wouldn't want young kids to equate miserable weather with having to get your ass out of a building cause it's supposedly on fire.

But I was a good kid cause I made sure I kept moving and quickly exited the building and got to the meet up spot. I was a very responsible young boy.

A lot has changed in almost 30 years since then. The case in point being tonight as I sat here on my computer Instant Messaging a few friends and thinking "I should really hit the sack". I was also thinking in the back of my mind "Gad, I haven't updated my diary in awhile, too bad I don't have anything to write about."

Then it happened.

The Fire Alarm went off in my apartment building. Now, I guess it's kind of important to note that I live in an older wooden building. As the alarm rang and I was thinking "Hmm, Fire Alarm. I should get up and leave the building." I came to the realization that if in fact this old wooden building was on fire this place would go up faster than a pervert's penis in a nudie bar.

It was at that point that I messaged Everyone that I was currently messaging that the fire alarm's were going off and that I shouldn't fuck around cause I live in a old wooden building and I have to go. The message I wrote to each person was about that long in length. I didn't want anyone thinking I fucked off without saying goodbye.

I then got up and found my jacket. I grabbed all different sets of keys, I grabbed a baseball cap because the weather hadn't been looking that good earlier. (That's also the reason I grabbed my jacket) I then contemplated what else I should grab. I saw a pair of shoes but they were my work shoes and I didn't want to wear those so I look around the apartment for my running shoes. I found them shortly thereafter sitting underneath the table for my computer. I had a quick thought as I was headed for the door that I really should grab my cell phone just in case I have to make some calls once I get outside. So, I turned around a grabbed that and then headed for my apartment door.

I stepped out into the hallway and turned around to close and lock my door. I had just finshed closing the door and was about to put my key in the lock when the alarm stopped. Now, I really had a dilemma on my hands.

Harkening back to my days of yesteryear I remembered that even if the fire alarm stops ringing you're supposed to continue to proceed out of the building until your told it's safe to return.

The only problem with that whole concept is I'm an adult now. We have a whole different rationale. You see, when you're a kid you don't really put a pricetag on your time like you do when you're an adult. I mean, Adults go to the movies spend X amount of bucks going to see the movie. If it blows chunks, they don't often concern themselves with the price they say to themselves "Fuck you, Stephen Spielberg, I want my 2 hours of my LIFE back! Damn you!"

Anyway, The "Oh my god, I don't wanna walk that far" part of my brain won the arguement and I then opened my door again and went back in my apartment. I could hear other people coming back into their apartments. So, at least I wasn't the only person back inside their apartment.

About 5 or so minutes after the alarms had been shut off I start to hear sirens. They're slowly getting closer. Hey, LOOK it's the firetruck!

It turns the corner and turns off it's siren and then it's lights and then it keeps on going down the block. Obviously they got the message that they weren't needed just as they arrived at the scene.

Anyway, I finally decided I wasn't going to have to go outside and I sat down a rebooted my computer.

I like fire drills...

***

Somebody got here by searching for...

Male Strippers, Female Crowd

God, I'm glad they specified not only the gender of the stripprs but also the crowd. I am not sure how concerned I'd be if it had been "Male Strippers, Male Crowd"

***

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