2010-02-06 - 4:24 p.m.

Disjointed

I apologize to anyone reading these ramblings to possibly understand or follow what exactly it is I'm writing at this point in my life.

Although this isn't for any of you that are peeking in on my world. I'm a far better writer than I have been lately but it's not about the writing right now, it's just about me.

I've taken a step. I'm writing again which means I'm trying to process again. The cloud around me far to thick and no outlet if I remain(ed) that way I will suffocate and something inside me will die. I can't let that happen.

I was at a crossroads two years ago trying to make a decision and I made that decision alone and without consulting anyone. I took it squarely on the chin from the one who I loved for excluding her from that decision.

I don't regret not including her in the decision because I felt her opinion would be biased (towards her) and not objective.

After that decision I spent a year in hell. Second guessing myself and yet still trying to stand with my decision and do the best job that I was capable of doing.

The second year was better once she seemed to accept my decision and try her best to work with what was there. I'm truly amazed that she's still here. I have given her many, many opportunities to pack it in and walk away. Yet, She's still there.

She's coming to see me tomorrow. That doesn't really hold any significence it's just a piece of fact.

I'm writing again.

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The Last Five Bingo Games

Ripples - 2011-02-01
Checkmate - 2010-11-11
I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
I'd Like To Point Something Out - 2010-09-10
A Tempting Morsal - 2010-08-20

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