2009-11-07 - 3:13 a.m.

Waiting...

The truth of the matter is I am hurt very badly inside. A lifetime of internal emotional tramuatic events that I've never really healed from.

I've piled them on over the years and never really taken care of any of them. It's a mess really.

I have moments when I can touch the pain inside and proding it can cause a wave to wash over me that could spill out if I would let it.

The question is am I really ready to let go of it, any of it?

It's hard to believe that I'd want to hold on to these painful things but I do. Therefore it stands to reason that I'm not really wanting to let them go.

It causes me to be self destructive at times because to feel even more emotional hurt reminds me I'm still alive.

I made it to 40 when I truly believed I'd never make it past 30.

This troubled life I'd never wish on anyone. This lonely life is not to be envied.

I stand here alone.

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The Last Five Bingo Games

Ripples - 2011-02-01
Checkmate - 2010-11-11
I Need Anger - 2010-10-15
I'd Like To Point Something Out - 2010-09-10
A Tempting Morsal - 2010-08-20

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