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2004-07-09 - 7:43 p.m.

Lesbians

I love Lesbians, it's true.

I don't know if I ever told you this little fact about me. It's really a fruitless effort because of the acute problem of me being a straight male. This fact generally doesn't help me in my whole love of lesbians.

I've come to the realization earlier today that I've had some really faulty logic in my brain in regards to small towns and lesbians. I was thinking that since I had moved myself far away from the "Big City" that my chances of seeing gay couples, especially lesbians, would be about as common as a blind people have sightings of the Sasquatch. I'm here today to say I've officially thrown this logic out the damn door.

Everytime I turn around in this little town, I now call home, I run into lesbians. Today was no exception.

Today I decided I should stop by the local grocery store and pick up some stuff called food. While I was minding my own business walking aimlessly among the aisles of products for sale because that's what us straight males do when shopping in a grocery store. It's a real wonder they don't have Grocery Store Search & Rescuse for us males who make the dangerous trek into a supermarket in search of groceries. It's just something we should avoid. That is, of course, an entry for another day.

What was I talking about again?!

Oh ya, Lesbians.

I love Lesbians.

While I was walking the aisles I spyed a very nice looking bum. It was attached to a rather attractive girl and her quite a bit more obvious lesbian girlfriend. I'm sure you wonder how it is that I was able to distinguish these two girls as lesbians and not just really close friends/roommates. The reason I could is because I have what is commonly refered to as "Gaydar". Although, I, myself, am not gay God has seen it fit to bless/curse me with this skill/talent.

The fact the two women we're groping each other repeatedly and tounging each other deeply down one anothers throat was just a small indicatior.

Wait!

Sorry, that was the porno I watched last night. No, I think the biggest indicator was that when I eyed up the girly girly type the butch one gave me dirty looks and mouthed "Don't look at my girlfriend you dirty heterosexual man." It was then my "gaydar" alarm rang clear.

They actually turned around and came back down the aisle towards me as if taunting me with their lesbians goodness.

I also "happened" to end up in the same checkout aisle as them. Actually, this is mostly because I came up this aisle first and I was too lazy to go look and see if the next line was shorter. Plus I didn't spy any lesbians in the next checkout counter line.

I did my best not to gawk at them. I mean I'm from the big city where lesbians run rampant. In my attempts to be less of a pervert I tried to distract myself by checking out the cashier. She was sticking out what small boobage she could offer. I thought this gesture was being made towards me because I'm one hot male stud and all women adore me. (Well, except lesbians) It was about then I realized that that she was checking out the lesbians (and I don't mean their grocercies.)

It makes you wonder if women take a secret course in high school that teaches them how to keep their lesbianism hidden from us dumb straight males. Otherwise we'd spend the whole day dreaming about making it with two lesbians and we already waste far too much of the day dreaming about that very fact.

I actually made a note that since it's become a little more acceptable to be outwardly gay I've noticed that lesbians have started to get far better looking. This fact can be attribute to the above and also to the fact some of my own gender are so terrible that they actually drive perfectly straight women into being Magpiers.

I know if I were a woman I'd be a lesbian. It's no contest.

In honor of lesbians, and the fact I think a lot of them are hip to healthy eating, I bought some granola bars. Except these are Fudge Dipped because I'm kinky like that.

Have A Good Weekend

***

Free Bingo Dabbers to meeshapeesha who added me as a favourite

***

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